


All of my memories are happy tonight, I've had a love of my own

by Kroolea



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Kanan (Comics), Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Force Ghost Depa Billaba, Force Ghost(s), Hurt/Comfort, Kanan Jarrus Needs a Hug, Kanan Jarrus-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:28:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28225392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kroolea/pseuds/Kroolea
Summary: "Caleb." Her eyes twinkle. He furrows his brow."How-" He looks around, everyone is still fast asleep. "How are you here?" He makes his voice softer.---Kanan gets a visit from his old master.
Relationships: (Mentioned) CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi, (Mentioned) CC-5052 | Bly/Aayla Secura, Depa Billaba/CC-10/994 | Grey, Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla
Comments: 1
Kudos: 95





	All of my memories are happy tonight, I've had a love of my own

**Author's Note:**

> Oops I did it again I wrote Depa/Grey because I love them so much
> 
> I made playlists for Depa/Grey uhh check them out and tell me what you thought
> 
> spotify- https://open.spotify.com/playlist/68z26CLUtmpSarSAF9UQdF
> 
> youtube- https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLIhvUur3jrIoRnzFr8scIOX8lD-TFLqQf

Kanan smiles at the group pile in The Ghost's sitting area. Ezra and Sabine are snoring as they lean again Zeb. Hera is tucked against his side, asleep. He doesn't know where Chopper is, probably at his charging port.

The scene is peaceful and domestic. Kanan doesn't know how he ended up here, he was supposed to be dead, he still was.

He's happy though, he has everything he ever wanted right here.

A chill runs down his spine as he begins to drift off, it startles him awake.

He lifts his head up, looking at the familiar figure sitting across from him. He reaches for his saber but realizes he doesn't have it.

"...Master?"

She's smiling at him like she always did, her face serene. Depa's hair is neatly done, not the messy way it was when she was killed.

"Caleb." Her eyes twinkle. He furrows his brow.

"How-" He looks around, everyone is still fast asleep. "How are you here?" He makes his voice softer.

"The Force."

He wants to say something sarcastic but he decides against it. Instead he just stares at her face. "I missed you." He swallows thickly.

"I missed you two, my little padawan."

He scoffs. "I'm not much of a padawan anymore."

"A Jedi then."

He shakes his head. "If I am, I'm the worst Jedi."

She purses her lips. "What makes you say that?"

Kanan looks around the room. Then, his eyes land on Hera, who is asleep. Depa seems to understand, even if he doesn't say anything.

"You love her." She says at last. He nods.

She laughs. "You were truly a daft child."

His jaw drops. "I- _what_?"

"Did you not see Grey and I? The way we held hands and danced until we were too tired to hold our eyes open?"

He furrows his brow. "I didn't." He tries to recall any moment that he could see Depa and Grey being more than commander and general. All he really remembers is Grey giving that blasted order and the way Depa had looked _terrified._

Depa throws her head back. "Many of us had lovers. You wouldn't be the first and you won't be the last."

"More Jedi?"

"Obi-Wan loved his commander, that was barely a secret. Aayla and Bly were married."

"They _were_?" Kanan didn't know any of this. His face must be shocked because Depa covers her mouth as she laughs loudly.

"Yes, little one. The council was wrong about many things, we decided to change it. Well, we wanted to, after the war."

"You and Grey..." Kanan trails off, shaking his head. Depa closes her eyes, still smiling, and takes a breath.

"Yes. We loved each other very much."

"Until he killed you." Kanan says bitterly. Depa frowns.

"He didn't have a choice. Not many of them were able to fight against them." She is quiet for a moment. "He saved you in the end."

Kanan stares at her in a mixture of confusion and grief. "He did?"

"In the transport. He blew it up to save you."

Tears sting his eyes. "Why?"

"He loved you like his son." Depa stands and walks the few steps to grasp the sides of Kanan's face in her hands. "He still does. We both do."

A sob escapes his throat and he closes his eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I was so alone and did so many stupid things." He chokes out, Depa wipes away his tears.

"Don't cry. You're not alone anymore." Her eyes flicker to Hera. "You found her." She looks toward the pile of snores. "You found them."

"If it weren't for me-"

"Shhh. We are happy. No one can judge us in this afterlife. We can be free and be ourselves. Don't cry, Caleb." Her tone is firm but gentle.

"You didn't get to live and be free."

"But you do. Be free, my little scholar." She is beginning to fade. "I have to go soon. My own lover is waiting for me."

"Will you visit again? I want you to meet Ezra."

She smiles. "I'm sure I will." She looks behind her at the three sleeping. "They remind me of Stance, Mixx, and Styles. Do they remind you of them?"

If Kanan was being honest, he tried to push the memories of the clones to the back of his mind. Now that she's pointed it out though, he doubts the comparison will ever leave him. "They do."

She fades until Kanan is staring at the empty spot where she stood.

He glances back down to look at Hera. He kisses the top of her head. "I love you." He murmurs, before letting sleep take him for the night.

**Author's Note:**

> Come cry with me about these babies on my insta @onceuponagalaxyfarfaraway


End file.
